…when I was a kid, I used to dream of happily-ever-afters. I wished a prince will someday sweep me off my feet. I dreamed of fairy godmothers who will wave their magic wands and turn me into a lovely princess.
…as I grow older, I’ve changed. I no longer believe in fairy tales and happy endings —of princes and fairy godmothers but I only wished that someday, someone will love me. That someday, I will be happy…
…he came into my life when everything was a damn failure —when everything was not I imagined it to be. He had me at my worst and it was the first time, I felt love. For months, I’ve tried to control my heart from falling but I underestimated love. I thought you can stop the feeling by a mere snap of a finger but I was wrong. So, I said yes and kept the relationship for ten months. Despite the distance, we tried to make it lasts. we’ve been through endless fights and countless breakups. It wasn’t easy and I felt like it’s not gonna work. We both struggled to be patient and understand each other’s differences. For those months, it’s not all thorns but most of those memories were beds of roses. There were times when I can laugh with him all night. He made me feel that someone cared and for once, I am myself and I didn’t pretend to be someone else. I fell for him even deeper that made me believe that he was the one…
…yes, I find myself wishing that this would be my fairy tale but I forgot about poison apples, stepsisters and wicked step mothers who will go in-between. This time they made a fool out of me and it hurts so badly. For the first time, I felt pain. It’s like a big slap in the face..it’s like a knife that cuts me deep down there.
…I’ve tried to hide it from everyone —I’ve tried to hide it from myself. I guess ten months is enough for me to realize my worth…ten months is enough fro me to be stupid. The only true thing I’m holdin’ on to right now is taken away from me…the only true thing I can really call mine, all of a sudden, turns into a one big lie!!!
…I guess the greatest irony of love is getting hurt. I don’t know if true love still exists. I don’t know if there’s still a guy who will be man enough to prove to me that they are not the same. I’m not closing my doors for love but I promise myself not to give my all. Right now, the pieces of me are still shattered and the wound is still hurting deep down but time heals as they say…I believe that letting go does not mean taking big steps away from the person, it’s about having the strength to pull the other leg left behind. I guess I will let time decide if I’m ready to fall in love again and this time, it will be forever.
…I never thought that my fairytale will end like this. I never expected it will end so soon…no falling star, no fairy godmother,no magic can make it lasts. Maybe, I have to leave my fantasy world and accept my fate that this is……..my fairytale ending!!!